First is letting him have all the deciding power in your relationship. Ultimately, there are two things that can sabotage you right now. For example - is him needing this space/time away actually acceptable to you? Do you want to be dating someone that can come and go from the relationship as they please? If so, then you have no choice but to wait this out, but if not, then you might consider this less of a break, more of a breakup. When you do come back to thinking about the relationship with your current boyfriend, think about what needs to change in order for it to meet your needs. Remember, a healthy committed relationship is about being a team. Focus on making yourself a priority and find ways to bring out your best self. Learn a new skill, take up a new activity, meet with friends, travel alone, do something you don’t typically do - this will help you to (at least temporarily) stop thinking of him and gain a new perspective.
#MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO TAKE A BREAK FREE#
Easier said than done, but ultimately this is the only thing you can do: focus on yourself.ĭon’t think about your life strictly in terms of him - consider what should be in your life in order to be happy at work, in your free time, and in any future relationship(s) - with other people or with your current boyfriend if things work out well.
You said that he struggles with his own feelings, and needs time to sort them out - are you doing the same thing while he’s gone? If he’s using this time to seriously consider your relationship, his life goals, work conditions and whatever it is that is having him worried, then I would suggest doing the same thing for yourself. How do I prepare myself for that? It feels impossible… - Impossible Waitingīeing asked to take a break from a relationship or needing some time alone yourself is difficult, but sadly, a rather common situation all over the world - and couples dating in Japan are not an exception.Īlthough you probably find yourself only thinking of him now, a good way to approach the situation is by treating this time apart like a real breakup - it will help to reset your emotions. One to two months of pain, confusion and feeling lost and it may result in a heartbreak all over again. I’m trying to be hopeful that the relationship will work out but I have a feeling it won’t and I’ll be heartbroken.
#MY BOYFRIEND WANTS TO TAKE A BREAK HOW TO#
I don’t really know what to do and even how to feel. He struggles to come to grips with his feelings and has ignored me for over a week in the past because he couldn’t understand his own feelings. Instead of breaking up, however, my boyfriend wanted to “take a break” for one to two months. I’ve been dating my Japanese boyfriend for around a year and a half and recently we almost broke up. Got a question you’d like to ask Hilary? Email it to with a subject "Ask Hilary." Who doesn't think about that sometimes and almost break out in a cold sweat? But actually taking a step back to decide whether he loves you enough without full-on cutting the cord isn't something I'd be willing to deal with.Savvy Tokyo's resident "Love in Japan" columnist, Hilary Keyes, answers anonymous questions from readers on everything from dating in Japan to women’s health issues. No need to confuse ourselves." It's one thing for a guy to occasionally worry that it's insane to stick with one person forever. What's a girl to do in that kind of situation? What would you do? I think I'd be so hurt (and my pride would be so wounded) that I'd just be like, "Let's call it.
The cherry on top of the sundae is that he explained he couldn't give his (kinda?) girlfriend a timeline for how long it would take to come to a decision. "She's been devoted to this guy for years, and all of a sudden, he says he wants to 'take a break and decide if this is right for him,'" my friend said incredulously. My friend was recently spilling the details of her cousin's relationship saga.
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